Romano's suicide attempt chp1
by sugarhuney2
Summary: Romano feels suicidal. Suicidal!Romano and a bit of Spamano. Romano is a little bit OOC...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Hi! I'm a new author here! So... This is my first story here. My friends say that I'm pretty good at writing, and I hope you guys think so too! So... Sorry for waisting your time with this, if you've decided to read it anyhow. I don't think anyone does... I don't... that often. Well, this is a one-shot that's based on my absolute FAVORITE anime and show itself, Hetalia! In case you didn't know, I am a Romano fan, and I love fanfics based on him, which is what this is! My first story here is showing you a lot of who I am and hat I like, so if you don't like suicidal!Hetalia or snapped!Hetalia or Dark!Hetalia, I'd suggest you stop reading my stories... /sad XD anyway, sorry, and thank you for deciding to read this!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. XP If I did, the show would most likely suck.**

**Anyway, I'm rating this T for: suicidal thoughts and actions, Romano's language, a bit of Spamano, and a suicidal attempt.**

_I am Feliciano Vargas, also known as Romano. My caretaker, Antonio, otherwise known as Spain, calls me Lovino, or Lovi. My brother is Veniziano Vargas, also known as North Italy, or just Italy. He is exactly one year younger than me. _

_Why is it that in my case, the younger sibling is always the better? _

_I can't do many things right... And what I CAN do right, my brother does better..._

_Spain likes Veniziano better. I know this for a fact. He even tried swapping me with him at one point... And, I also know because Spain often says, "Why can't you be more like your brother?" To me quite often... Well, quite often in my eyes anyhow._

_Veniziano was the only reason I'm still alive, I guess. I couldn't bear to think of him getting hurt, or having his heart broken by someone like that Potato Bastard Germany. But... I've seen that after a while, though I won't EVER admit it aloud, that Ludwig wouldn't hurt Italy... Intentionally. _

_And Italy has so much favour in him that he forgets about me sometimes. I guess that means I'm no longer needed. So I'm leaving. I'll try every way I can think of to get out of life. _

Romano put his pencil down. This might as well be the final entry in his journal.

He closed the journal and placed it on the edge of the nightstand. If anyone wanted to read it, so be it. He didn't care anymore.

Romano stood, and walked out of the room he and his brother shared.

He went into the kitchen, and grabbed the sharpest knife he could find, which also happened to be the slimmest.

Romano then went into the laundry room, and grabbed the bleach. He went back into the kitchen and some bleach into a cup, until it was filled halfway. Romano then grabbed one of the liquid cleaners under the sink, which turned out to be Drain-O.

He poured a bit of it into the glass, knowing that a little was enough.

He then grabbed a spoon and stirred it. He then threw it away.

Romano let out a long breath. He took the liquid concoction and the knife, and went into the bathroom.

He locked the door behind him, then set the glass down on the sink's edge. He held the knife in his left hand, and put it up against the vein.

He heard someone open, then close the door to his house. "Feliciano~! I'm hooome~! Ve..." He heard his brother call. Romano cursed inwardly. He hid the knife and the glass under a towel and placed them under the sink.

"Feliciano? Where are you?" Veniziano called.

"Hold on one damn second!" Romano called, and walked out of the bathroom. "What?" He asked. He was a little irritated with his brother walking in right when he was about to end it all.

"Oh, I just wanted to know where you were! What do you want for dinner?" Italy asked.

"I'll eat whatever you want to make." Romano said, hoping to make his brother happy once more.

Veneziano nodded. "Okay~! Just give me a little bit!" He said.

Romano nodded. "I'll just... Be upstairs then." He said, and left the room.

He went back into the bathroom. He could hear his brother working in the kitchen, the clattering of a pan being put on the stove, the sound of vegetables being chopped.

Romano sighed and grabbed the glass and the knife that were under the towel. He walked out of the bathroom and back into his own room, where he put the items in the closet. He would continue when his brother was either gone or asleep.

He went back downstairs and sat on the couch. He turned on the television just for something to do as his brother made dinner.

"So what did you think of dinner?" Italy asked.

"It was... good. Th-thanks..." Romano said, blushing furiously.

Veniziano tilted his head. "Fratello... Is something wrong?" He asked.

Romano shook his head. "No. I-I'm fine." He said.

Veniziano didn't look convinced, but went along with it. "Okay then. Oh, Feliciano?" He asked.

Romano blinked. "Yes?"

"I'd like you to know, that if you have anything you want to tell me... I'll listen." Italy said.

Romano's face turned several shades redder.

His brother started to laugh. "Romano, you look like a tomato!"

Romano turned redder still. "D-don't turn into Spain now fratello!" He burst out.

Veniziano laughed even harder.

"W-whatever... J-just... what do you want to do?" Romano asked.

Italy calmed down, a big smile on his face. "Well, America's throwing a party..." He said timidly.

Romano sighed. "And I guess you're wanting me to go with you..." He said.

"If you don't want to go, you don't have to."

"Would it make you... happy... if I went?"

"Well, yes..."

"Then I'll go, but only for an hour. Two tops." Romano said a little grumpily.

Italy's face brightened. "You will?! Ve~ Thank you!"

"Yeah, whatever. When are we going?" Romano asked.

"Just get dressed in something nicer and we'll go."

Romano nodded and went up to his room.

He came back downstairs five minutes later wearing a long-sleeved striped button-down shirt and jeans.

"Let's go then." Romano said.

Italy nodded and they went out the door.

They had arrived at America's place in about an hour.

Italy immediately went over to hang out with Ludwig, while Romano somehow got snatched away by Spain.

"Damn tomato bastard! What're you doing!" Romano yelled.

"Relax _mi tomate _I'm taking you over to the food!" Spain said cheerily.

Romano rolled his eyes, but didn't resist.

Spain gave him a glass of punch.

Romano took it. "Um... S-Spain?"

"Si?"

"W-what do you want to do...?"

Spain smiled broadly. "_Mi amigo, _why do you ask?"

"B-because... I'd like to hang out with you, while I'm still here." Romano said.

"What? You mean you're leaving soon?"

"I said that I would leave in two hours tops."

"Alright, then how about we just chat?"

"O-okay..."

They had been chatting for about half an hour when Spain started to yawn.

"Antonio... Am I boring you?" Romano asked, joking a bit.

Spain laughed. "Not at all! It's just, I've been overworked lately. To be honest, I'm quite tired." He said.

Romano shifted his gaze so that he was looking Spain straight in the eyes.

Spain noticed this and stared quizzically.

Romano averted his gaze a moment, his face flushing a dark red. He then looked Spain back in the eye, and gave him a rare smile. And a big one too.

Spain's face showed pure shock.

Romano's face turned an even darker red. "Wh-whatever... tomato ba- I mean... Antonio... I... I'm going to go home." He said, and tried to walk away, but was stopped when Spain grabbed his arm.

"Romano, _mi tomate, _is something wrong?" Spain asked, his face showed concern, and his eyes still held the shock of what just happened.

"I gave you a smile because I felt like it, and you're asking if something's wrong? Nothing's wrong you bastard! Let go of my arm _idiota!"_ Romano yelled.

Spain's arm dropped, and Romano stormed off.

He passed his brother, who stopped him for a moment. "Where are you going Romano?" He asked.

"I'm going home." Romano said.

Italy looked disappointed for a second, but his smile returned. "Okay! Well, I'll see you at home!" He said.

Romano nodded, looked Italy straight in the eyes, and flashed a large grin, then walked away, frown returning, and leaving Italy in shock.

"Ah... Finally home..." Romano mumbled when he got back. "I need to get to it, or I'll get interrupted again..."

Romano went straight up to his room and grabbed his Drain-o and Bleach concoction, along with the knife, then locked himself in the bathroom.

Romano first plugged his nose and drank his poisonous concoction, which burned his mouth and throat, but when it reached his stomach, he felt fine again.

He sighed, hoping the concoction would start working soon.

Romano then took the knife into his left hand and pressed it against his right arm. He drew sevaral short slashes down until he reached his wrist.

Scarlet blood dripped out of the wounds and landed onto the ground, making a small pool.

Romano tossed the knife into his right hand. He put it against his arm and was about to dig the blade in when he heard the phone ring.

Romano sighed, and put the knife down. He might as well say goodbye to whoever bothered to call.

He stood, and fell against the wall. A sudden wave of dizziness overcame him. Romano let out a breath, unlocked the bathroom door, and rushed to the phone as fast as he could.

"Hello?" Romano asked weakly.

"Romano? You don't sound good, are you alright?" A worried voice asked. Romano recognized it as the voice of Spain.

"I'm going to be..." Romano said, and coughed. A spat of blood landed on the floor.

"D-do you need me to come over? You REALLY don't sound good!"

"S-sure... If you want to, anyhow..."

"Lovino, what's wrong? You need to tell me!" Spain shouted, sounding frantic.

"G-goodbye Antonio..." Romano said.

"Romano?! Feliciano! What are you doing?!"

Romano hung up.


	2. Chapter 2

Romano had ended the call, then dropped the phone onto its set.

Romano turned and stumbled back up to the bathroom... leaving a small trail of blood behind him.

/

"Italy! Italy!" Spain yelled. He sounded like this was an urgent matter. Italy broke from his conversation with Germany and turned to see a scared Spain.

"Oh... Antonio... What's wrong?" Italy asked.

"Y-your brother! I think something's wrong!" Spain said.

Italy's normally-closed eyes opened, showing pupils dialated with worry. "W-what do you mean by that Spain?" He asked.

"Romano sounded really weak and he was acting weird... I don't know why, but I think he's in BIG trouble!" Spain hissed.

Italy now looked fearful. "We need to get home! NOW!" He said, and started to run to the door, followed by Spain.

/

Romano was leaning against the bathroom wall, next to the toilet, in case he had to throw up again. He was in a pool of his own blood, his skin, which used to have a slight tan to it, was pale, and Romano looked weak and tired and... _old..._

Romano's eyes started to droop. He felt so tired... Maybe if he went to sleep, he'd never wake up... Maybe.

_**SLAM!**_

The sound of a door being shoved open and banging against a wall sounded throughout the house, making Romano jump, his tiredness forgotten.

"Romano! Lovino, where are you?!" Spain's called.

A scream... It sounded like his brother...

"Spain! Blood!" Someone yelled.

Yup... Definitely Italy.

Footsteps could be heard coming up the stairs.

The bathroom door slammed open, and Italy screamed again. "Fratello!"

Spain had a look of shock on his face. "Italy! Go downstairs and call an ambulance!" Spain hissed.

Italy nodded, then rushed downstairs.

Spain bent down and gathered Romano gently into his arms. "Romano... Why would you do this?" He whispered.

"N-no one cares... I'm useless... Why should I stick around?" Romano mumbled.

Spain seemed surprised that Romano was still awake. "You think I don't care? Romano, I love you!" Spain whispered.

"You love Veniziano more... I don't matter..."

"No! Romano, I like YOU more!" Spain said.

"L-liar..." Romano mumbled, his voice slurring slightly.

"I'm not lying... Once you're recovered... I'll show you how I'm telling the truth..." Spain said.

Romano nodded.

Sirens could be heard, Romano was soon loaded onto an ambulance and driven to a hospital.

/

Romano woke up in a white, clean room.

"Fratello! You're awake!" Romano heard his brother say.

Romano nodded, and sat up.

What did he see? A worried Ital, right at the end of his bed.

"I'm sorry..." Romano mumbled.

Italy sighed. "You worried us all... Don't do that EVER again." He said.

Romano nodded. "Promise... What did you mean by 'all?'"

"Almost everyone! Spain, France, Prussia, Germany, me, America, Japan, and Canada!" Italy said.

"They all... Care about me?"

"Of course! We were all so worried! America wouldn't stop eating, Japan wouldn't stop pacing, Germany couldn't keep still, Canada was crying a little, Prussia wouldn't stop muttering, Spain couldn't sleep, and I just couldn't leave your side... So I didn't really sleep either..." Italy said.

Romano looked away. "Well... I'm fine... Italy, if I find out that you haven't been getting sleep again, you're gonna be in big trouble." He said.

Italy smiled. "Whatever you say! As long as you're okay! I'll go tell the others!" Italy said, and ran out.

Romano sighed. "So... people... actually CARE? About ME?" He thought, then smiled. "I... I guess that if they really did all that stuff that Italy said they did, they must care..."

Romano decided that, now that he knew people truly cared, he wouldn't try suicide again. He would have to spend a week or two in the hospital though, just to recover. Of course, he wasn't ever left alone anymore, and was being put on suicide watch.

And... It was all okay.

**Fin! Sorry if you guys wanted more! I guess that if I get enough people wanting it, I'll make an afterstory... Where Spain... 'Makes it up to' Romano... XD By enough people, I mean... Like... three. Okay, sorry if you thought it was crappy, I've been suffering from a bit of writer's block, sooo... yeah... anyway, review please!**


End file.
